Today is Yom Ha’atsma’ut, Israeli Independence Day. My son went to his Jewish pre-school dressed in white and blue to celebrate, and I felt that feeling many Jews know at times like this, the strange mixture of pride, joy and aching sadness. It is tempting to try to simplify the hearts feelings and cancel out one of these clusters of emotions. I could celebrate the triumphs of Israel and mourn it’s victimhood at the hands of Arab states and Palestinian Arab terrorists, denying that Israel shares any substantial guilt for the suffering of the stateless Palestinian Arabs and blaming it all on the violence of Palestinian Arab political culture; or I could declare Israel a “catastrophe” and blame it for Palestinian Arab and Jewish suffering, seeing the Palestinian Arabs as innocent victims of Israeli-Jewish nationalism and greed. Either choice would simplify my tortured emotions and also provide me with a custom built echo-chamber: either the “pro-Israel” community or the “pro-Palestine” community, where I could find tailor made biased news reports, inflammatory rhetoric, and the twin toxins of self-piteous victimhood and confident self-righteousness.
It is so hard to hold together in one mind the narrative and suffering and humanity of Israel and the narrative and suffering and humanity of Palestinian Arabs. So few people do it well. Those who understand the history of Zionism and Israeli political and social culture and defend Israel from the many unjust accusations hurled at her are so often dismissive of the real role that Israeli militarism, right-wing Jewish nationalism, and the settlements have played in perpetuating the conflict; so often emotionally numb to the extremity of the humiliation and suffering of Palestinian Arabs under the occupation of the disputed territories. Those who have listened intently to the Palestinian Arabs and their stories of human rights violations, poverty, suffering and death, often dismiss the role that Arab hostility to Israel, the cynical refusal to resettle Palestinian Arabs in Arab countries, Islamic anti-semitism, and the Palestinian choice of violence as the main instrument of liberation have played in perpetuating the conflict.
Dogen Zenji, the great Japanese Zen master, said that a person of wisdom must see “with two eyes, not one”. I have begun to find the one-eyed vision of so many commentators on this conflict incredibly tedious. It is so much easier to see with one eye. One can dine on the simple, pleasurable fare of an easy, smooth narrative with a side of sour self-pity and a sweet pastry of strident self-righteousness to wash it all down. Yet this narrative is not simple, and as the Israeli author Amos Oz said wonderfully in his How To Cure a Fanatic, “this is not a wild west movie where all we have to do is decide who the good guy is and who the bad guy is and then cheer for the right one.”
So there is no resolution to the feelings of my heart as I watch my son get ready for a classroom tour of “Israel” in a pretend airplane. I refuse not to celebrate, and I refuse not to mourn.